Your Baby's First Smile

Your baby's first real smile - what a milestone! Most babies start turning on their social smile when they are between six and eight weeks old. This is about the same time they begin vocalizing more deliberately than they did as newborns. These are thrilling signs, indicating that the sight and sound of another human delight your baby. Although she can't yet recognize you, the social smile is a powerful tool - it gets parents to smile back in response, which sets up the interactive chain that leads to real attachment.

Clear signs that your baby recognizes you as a distinct person appear at about three months - he smiles, coos, gurgles, and wiggles when he sees you, whereas for unfamiliar faces he has only frowns or stares. This reaction to strangers is called "wariness," and it is a precursor of stranger anxiety that appears at about nine months. At this point, your baby has crossed an important developmental milestone - he can recognize a particular person, which means that he has some internal picture of what his parents look like. And this internal picture stays constant over time.

At around four months, babies begin to genuinely laugh not only when tickled but by the sight of something that strikes their funny bone. By six months, babies are able to discern the mood of their parents, and react by laughing or looking sad in turn. This is the beginning of empathy.

Stranger anxiety, which besets all babies before their first birthdays, is an outgrowth of attachment. Now, however, children are more than wary - they may cry, kick, and clutch at you in order not to be separated when confronted with a stranger. Though this is a difficult stage to weather, it does pass. And you can help soothe your child's attitude toward strangers by not forcing her to be friendly. Let her keep her distance for as long as she likes. Eventually, as the "strange" face becomes more "familiar," she will be able to approach the other person - maybe even with a smile.